March 20th

Hey everybody! How’s it going? You’ve been coming here for about 18 months now, reading the drippings from the barbecue of my mind and I realized something kind of important.

We never really get a chance to talk, you know? Just sit down together, maybe share a bottle of premium soda, and discuss life! I realize I’ve been rude, with all my: “I remember when I was a kid…”, “This one gig had a chicken…” or “My wife is hot and I’m unattractive…”. Nobody likes a Tommy-talks-a-lot, and that’s exactly what I’ve been.

I thought that this week it might be fun to see what you readers have to say. I thought we could just talk about whatever is on your minds. What has been going on out there on your side of the fence that you can enlighten ME with? This is your chance, I’m a great, good, listener. What do you have for me?

…

Anyone?

…

Well, it appears nobody is willing to share, OR nothing happens unless I see it. I can only assume that you would prefer that I go first and then perhaps you would follow up in the comments section or something. Although I really would have preferred you speak up back there, I’m going to assume your window of opportunity is now closed (or cracked open slightly if that helps you sleep).

Since nobody spoke up, I’ll talk a little about the significance of March, and to be specific, March 20th. March is a pretty good month for me, from an important milestone point of view. We adopted a very special dog, I joined an amazing band and last year began a spiritual journey into prescription drug use, all on the same anniversary day.
“Big whup!” you say? Well, perhaps to you they are insignificant trivialities that sum to a big zero on the excitement-o-meter, but they are all pieces of the Steve Damm puzzle that have taught me more about myself. I celebrate them.
Although each of these events deserves and will get their own elaborate posts, I figured I would make this more about the significance of March, than anything else. Let’s start with the oldest and move forward from there, because my writing is organized and meticulously sculpted for chronological order.

Oscar came to us on March 20, 2003. We had been looking for another dachshund to keep our princess, Gracie, happy when we weren’t home. The other toys weren’t terribly interactive, so we went searching for a companion. Writing this paragraph, I’m suddenly disgusted with the idea that I would get another living creature for not so much as a pet, but as an appeasement for the other dog. Of course he grew into a family member, but this is a dent in my moral compass that I’m just finding as I write this. Thanks for being here so that I don’t have to go through this alone.

Oscar was the perfect addition to our family. Where Gracie was a serious, proper dachshund with a pedigree and a long sleek form that she often shows off by standing still in different poses until she is noticed and praised, Oscar has a different approach to life.

Oscar works a room like a popular politician. He loves to be picked up and doted upon, but never stays with one person too long, preferring to make sure everyone gets a little “Oscar time”. Gracie may be the more formal dog, but Oscar screams casual lifestyle with his round tummy and love of snacking. He’s content with Gracie acting as the Alpha dog, taking power away from her by appealing to everyone else in the room.

Oscar is a model of friendship and loyalty. The dog to human translation of this metaphor is a little hard to bridge sometimes, but after a decade with this little wiener dog, I’ve learned patience, kindness and to keep any and all possible edible material on a surface at least three feet tall and away from any object that might be used as a stairs or climbing apparatus to reach the food. I’ve thought about putting that sticker on the side of him for others to read.

I believe I mentioned this in last week’s story, but March 20th, 2007 was my first show with my band Vote for Pedro. What a magical musical experience that first show with them was! They were a fun band, with fun songs and they didn’t recognize right away that I was a charlatan of a drummer. Lucky me.

VFP has had many adventures as a unit and we often play with guests. We have two members on a long leave of absence but there’s never a strange feeling when they want to come back and play. That’s the thing, once you’re a Pedro, I have a feeling you’re always a Pedro. The group is THAT accepting of everyone. In fact, one of the coolest things I saw the band do when I played with them the first night, was to quickly share the stage with an audience member who wanted to sing.

First of all, they started the spy-master guitar lick of “Secret Agent Man” which is immediately recognizable. It’s kind of a cool tune that I had never heard another band do. A high school math teacher visiting Seattle with his colleagues did a double take toward the stage. He caught Nabil, our guitar player’s, eye before the guitar player started singing and quickly pointed to himself asking if he could sing.

Without any hesitation, Nabil took the progression around again giving the teacher time to hop up on stage. The idea that you just let a random guy get up on stage and croon a song with you was extremely foreign to me. What if they stank? What if they don’t know the words? What if they damage our gear?

The math teacher rocked that song. He was great. All his friends and co-workers got to see him perform, and perform well, to a packed house. I guarantee you that those teachers still talk about that night. “You know Ken, Algebra II and Pre-Calc? Yeah, he’s a rock star. He’s crazy, he jumped up on stage with some rock band when we were in Seattle a few years ago and brought the house down. Oh and did you see the t-shirt the Mitchell kid was wearing? Yeah, he’s a punk.”

The thing about letting people up on stage that VFP helped me realize is that taking the time to create these moments, not only makes the gig more interesting, but it can create truly awesome memories for many people. That Teacher sang a song that was under three minutes long and now can look upon that evening from time to time with fondness. VFP showed me that music is a shared experience. That doesn’t mean that every experience has been stellar.

The band’s official attitude is that if you think you can hang, and play with the band, hop on up. We’re happy to oblige. We’ve already proved whatever level of playing the audience judges us to be. If a person steps to the microphone and stinks, we’ll do what we can to help you, but the audience knows, it’s YOU that is sucking, not necessarily the band. But luckily, we have many more positive experiences than negative, though there was this one guy…

Last year on March 20th, I wrote a post called The Big Plunge. It was about my struggle with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I opened up a little about how I was making an adjustment to a new medication approach. Many readers were curious and very supportive of how I managed. I plan to write extensively about the experience as there was quite a bit to it.

I take more pills now, and that kind of makes people uncomfortable in the break room, probably because I tell everyone that asks, that I’m taking the pills for a different reason. “It makes the hurting go away,” “Baldness,” “To make me tiny,” “It’s for rage,” “It’s supposed to stop me from playing with matches,” “I have chiggers,” “Well, it seems my mission is complete,” “Diarrhea,” “Constipation,” “To keep President McKinley from stealing my car,” “I’m not taking anything,” “Toenail fungus,” “Thicker eyebrows,” “To make me forget,” “It turns my frown upside down” or my personal favorite, “Isn’t it amazing how this one little pill keeps me from killing everyone in the building?” Nobody ever laughs at that one.

The results have been extremely positive. I feel like a new person and I cannot wait to elaborate on the how’s and why’s to give you a little more clarity. I have had some pretty large changes happen in my life. Challenges, opportunities and truly beautiful experiences have taken place between March 20th and March 19th. The experience wasn’t easy but there is no denying that my life is better inside my head because of the choices I’ve made this year. Yes, MY head.

So I understand this is a bit of a departure from my usual narrative style and I appreciate you making it all the way to this sentence. I sincerely hope you do leave some comments about how your last year has gone. One thing is for certain, I have big plans for this blog in the next year, and that’s the Damm truth.