This Will be a Waste of Your Time

This is not a story.  This is the typing of a crazy person.

Most people write blogs about what goes on in their lives and the entries are usually short and to the point.  Mine drag on for thousands of words, sometimes there are two and three parts to them.  Often mine are self serving.  I love to write them, I do.  I enjoy throwing them together, remembering all the details of something that may have happened long ago or imagining silly stuff to make you wonder what is wrong with me.

Many of you that have been reading my junk since the beginning of this blog have perhaps seen my attempts to make my writing better, maybe not.  Maybe it’s just as crappy as before and I just make different mistakes, I don’t know, but the point is that I am working on all this stuff.  I’ve been digging in, reading and trying to fix style and grammar problems that have plagued me since the beginning.  Many of you have been kind enough to point them out to me, and to shield my ego a bit, I changed the tag line of my blog to something about how these are just first drafts.

Things have slowed down around the blog a little; not so much because I don’t have the material, but because I’m working on getting published other places, submitting more spit polished stuff to reputable institutions and publications.  Most of them require that the items I submit be unseen by others, meaning not published on my blog.  So I have been sitting on several pieces that I would normally have put up in thedammtruth.com.

I have submitted a couple things, and will be submitting more soon.  That’s exciting…to me.  I did just get one very small piece accepted to McSweeneys.net.  I suggest you take a gander at that site.  My thing won’t publish for a couple weeks, but I’m excited.

The blog is now the place where I’m posting first drafts of things I will be preparing for a book.  These pieces are just drafts.  Everything you have written will be added to, cut, fixed and shined up nice, worthy of wasting a tree on.  Not all of it will make the grade of course.

I also want to talk a bit more about the stuff I’m typing for you.  I try to keep it clean.  I do have an occasional swear word now and then but it isn’t anywhere near how many I use in my everyday language.  I edit much of that out, because I don’t know if it’s really necessary to use it to be funny.  But it isn’t real.  Taking out some of the language makes the writing a bit less honest and that leads to you not trusting my work.  I do hope you can forgive me for that kind of self-censorship.

Most of the stuff that I write here could be classified as essay or memoir, but I’m working on some fiction ideas too.  I have another site called: The Damm Lies that I’m readying…if I can ever figure out how to get the blog onto my hosting server and URL pointed to it.  Any volunteers?

Thanks for your patience, and if any of you have anything in particular you would like me to take a crack at, let me know.

Here are some ideas I’ve been kicking around:

BJ and the Bear: The Musical!  (not kidding, I have sunk some work into this)

Why I Don’t Drink

My Eulogy

Tooth Fairy Rules

The Longhorn Tavern

The Organization of the Squirrels in Kansas

Other Stuff

Nothing Political

Movie Reviews Delivered Via Puppet

Terrible Guided Meditation

Bands Vs. DJs

The ASB Election

I have to go to the bathroom (not an idea, I just have to go to the bathroom)

Bad Songs

Bad Songs By Me

Ron Damm vs. the Washington State Lottery

Inspirational self help books

I told you this wasn’t worth your time.  (That wasn’t in the list, this is the end)